I planned on heading over to likemind orlando this morning. I had even got myself out of bed a bit earlier. I was going to take a half day from work. Get some coffee, meet new people, get a hair cut (badly needed) and stop by some Colonial Photo Hobby for goodies for my new camera.
Changed my mind. I just didn’t feel like it.
Instead I found myself dropping Sam off as usual and heading down Livingston as usual. I drove past the turn for the Panera Bread and Lake Eola. I headed straight past downtown. Took my usual right turn for the left turn onto I-4. Plugged in This American Life. Laughed at the line about “career malaise”.
I have to admit I am a bit bummed. I just didn’t feel like meeting new people. I needed old friends this morning. Abesnt those, I decided to lose myself in work.
Last night Dad called. Grandmother died. Nothing shocking. 90 years is a good run. She was pretty bad off for quite a while. I think my Aunts, who were taking care of her, were doing a better job of keeping her alive than she preferred.
We took Sam up to see her this past weekend. More precisely we took Sam up for her to see him. She had become almost belligerent to my parents each subsequent visit that came and went with out the new great-grandchild. Two weekends ago she greeted my father’s hello with “Do you have the baby?”. She turned and went back to sleep at his apologetic no. Ignored them for a bit.
Christina and I knew that was the last straw. Sam was still sick, young and this would be our inaugural trip with child. But the next threat was probably a curse on our souls and a sudden death to wreck us with guilt for eternity.
The trip wasn’t bad. It was amazing how alive she became when she saw him. Christina was awed by the small things. Sam was squirmy and she was weak but the motherly instinct kicked in and Grandmother managed to hook her thumbs in to lock him safely on her knee. Sam showed his appreciation by stirring up a few smiles and bit of his baby talk. I was amazed at how much it meant to her.
Dad had been making his predictions about her demise for a year now. I have actually prepped my boss twice about needing a few days “real soon”. The latest twist came after the birth of Sam. “I bet you she last long enough to see her great grand child”. I ignored the guilt for the most part even though I knew he just might be write. I actually expected a few months. He made a similar observation about Granddad. He kept maintaining he was setting goals to live for. He got lucky for the last one. Dad claimed he was waiting to see me to college, something he pushed for Dad. He last a few months into it.
Grandmother gave it a few days. I don’t know if it was as Dad predicted or not. But it is too close to call. I can’t feeling it was. I think that is what gets me now more than her passing. Maybe I held out too long. Emotion a bit heightened by her value she placed on the newest member of the family she barely knew.
Any rate, I didn’t feel like coffee with new people. I needed the usual this morning.
This evening, I am going to take a long nap. Tomorrow I’ll get the haircut.
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