Monthly Archive for May, 2007

I wrote earlier about Operation Armadillo. Here is an update on its progress.

I grew up in a more rural part of Florida. Creatures getting in and around your house was the norm. Maybe I was naive to think that “Downtown” (we’re close enough to borrow the term, I think) I would be limited to the insect variety. Ants, roaches and termites would be the worry.

Then came the rats. Our affection for citrus trees encourages them as much as their love for the urban environment. Possums have scared the daylight out of me but the nifty trash cans from OUC have minimized that trouble.

But the armadillos. They are driving me crazy. I have seen them as road kill. I have seen the marks on the yard from their dinner escapades. I knew they were around. But a pair have taken up under my house. I think.

A few weeks ago my dogs went nuts. At 3 in the morning. I checked, nothing. Over and over again the same thing. I found nothing in the yard, no sign of humans or animals. I decide to hang. And then I heard it. The sound of something crawling under the house right at my backdoor. I run out and meet mister (or mrs) armadillo trying to get back under. Grabbing a broomstick, I try to deter it (i.e. beat it away) unsuccessfully. Then follows in his/her partner as I am trying to find where the first crawled to.

Now I am freaking out. Are they burrowing under my foundation? I hear a million new creak in the floor. Are they disease ridden? A new baby makes you jump on those thoughts immediately. How to get rid of them? With the internet a my guide, because everything there is true, I find that you have to trap them. And getting some one real to do the work is expensive, for a teacher’s salary at least.

So, I setup my rig you can see it in the picture. [You can click the link and my flickr page will give you some nifty details]

Then I wait. Nothing for 2 weeks. Then dogs went nuts last night. Battle time.

The first one got away. It nudged some of my trap aside. But I got there for the second. I guided it into the dog cage and slammed the door shut. But there was a problem. In my haste and excitement I ran out to the backyard in my underwear and a pair of leather gloves. At 3 am in the morning. Now that I had an armadillo captured I calmed down and realized that anyone that might see me would think I am some kind of rapist or, at the least, a super freak that belonged in jail. Plus I was itching to run after the first. Prancing like that in the front yard would be very bad.

I run inside, dress in shorts and a shirt, grab flip-flops and run back outside. Not even 2 minutes. Armadillo is gone. It got out of a locked, steel dog cage. It isn’t the sturdiest thing but there wasn’t a gap big enough for something that size to get through. The ante is now raised. I am either dealing with Houdini reincarnated in a bad karmic deal or a deaf, blind, armored, supernatural rodent thing. Neither prospect is good.

The first one must have been smart as well. It hid in the bushes at my neighbors house. 3 am, bushes, not my house, not gonna do it. Go back to the super freak and/or rapist perception.

Never mind that I have yet to figure out what to do with them once I have them.

Back to the drawing board. I was told that Home Depot has traps. Gonna try again tonight.

If you have any suggestions, please leave a comment. Also if you have any recipes. I read that they eat them in Texas.

Technorati Tags: puppy

Operation Trap an Armadillo, originally uploaded by funkeemunkeeland.

Last night, at midnight, the dogs began barking at nothing. They wouldn’t shut the hell up. So, I went back, opened the door. Nothing. Second time up I heard it. It sounded like someone was ripping the wall down. I grab a flashlight and check out the side of the door. 2 massive armadillos are wobbling out from under neath my house. One got away but I tried to battle the second. He was completely unphased by the broom stick, lud noises and curses. I found out that they don’t feel much with their dino-armor nor can they hear much.

Tonight I am prepared. I have rigged my trap by funneling them to a dog cage. Hopefully the guard dogs won’t let me down. I will post more if I am victorious. Or not.

That would so rock. Great time savings for that kid that would normally need to mangle a second Wicket to get that “real” collateral damage feel to the battle.

Part of a genius Star Wars toy series parody of those toys that didn’t make the original cut for the first line.

Check out the The Force here (via FILMROT by way of sfx.co.uk)

Technorati Tags: parody, Star Wars, toys

NIgerian scammers are rather notorious now, and as they take up the majority of the Secret Service’s time with 419 scams, they are a major pain in the ass. But not for me this past week.

I had put my camera up for sale to move to the new Canon HV20 HD miniDV camera. I used Ebay despite the fees because I wanted less fuss. Craigslist, despite its utopian ideals, has never worked for me. I spent more time weeding through badly written Nigerian scams involving money escrow accounts and fake wire transfers. So, I posted it and let the auction roll.

Well… seven days later I watched the last few minutes of the auction and man, it went higher than I ever expected. Woo Hoo. But, goofy me was watching from the geeky, little badge I posted on my blog. Much quicker refresh and easier to see, I was missing the issue that came up in the last few minutes. See, it doesn’t give the real deal on the buyer. It just says bidder [#] to identify the current highest bidder. It also doesn’t give their location like the full page does. Uh oh.

I had limited my shipping to Canada and US. Shipping to Europe requires goofy stuff if the buyers is trying to avoid the customs fees. They want it under priced on the declaration which means no insurance because you can’t insure the real cost and if something does go wrong they can deny it due to fraud. I have played along and refused. Talking them into going legit can take three times longer than the original auction. Asia is a pain and they are miserably impatient. Africa, see NIgerian Scammers. I will stick to local rip off artists.

My buyer had a Nigerian address. Dammit. I should have noticed earlier. I drop a line the minute I realize it. “No way jose, not shipping ther bud”. Add to the weirdness was the fake emails that then came. Fake Paypal receipts, a story about being in South America and he was buying this for his friend so I shouldn’t contact him through the Ebay messages. I nearly get fooled by the fake Paypal email by clicking on the link to check the buyers info. Doh!

First thing I do is close it all out, reset all passwords and then punch off a second chance offer to the next guy. I know you aren’t supposed to do it that way. You are supposed to be nice and wait the proper number of days, dispute through Ebay. Screw it, I was looking for instant gratification. It also helped that this guy was actually local and if I got him before he won another auction I wouldn’t have to deal with shipping.

Next, I get on the live chat with an Ebay person. At first they were towing the are you sure stuff but then I laid out the “Fake Paypal receipts, a story about being in South America and he was buying this for his friend so I shouldn’t contact him through the Ebay messages.” bit, the response was “Oh, yeah. Nigerian scammer biatch”. Actually, they didn’t say biatch or refer to a Nigerian scammer but it was the polite, corporate version. I send the junk emails to spoof@Ebay.com and spoof@Paypal.com.

Then I am supposed to wait.

The second chance guy writes, wants to make sure I am not scamming him. He got ripped off by a local in something similar. I give him the secret code phrase. Well, I call the number and talk to him. He is hip. Pays that night and we arrange a drop off the next day. But still no word from the Ebay folks.

Paypal cha chings with the cash. I meet Second Chance after work, refund the shipping that rung up accidentally, throw in a bogen tripod (good deal) for the high price and gratitude and I head home.

Here is were the Nigerian bastards pay off.

Waiting in my inbox is a handy note from the Ebay folks. The winning account was highjacked by the Nigerians and it was being taken back. To protect us both they are erasing all auctions and actions based on the original submission, including the now finished second chance bid. Bad news is Second Chance can’t give me a good rating. Good news, they refund all of my fees. Cha ching.

Hell yeah, Nigerian bastard scammers made me an easy hundred bucks. Plus with all this talk of Ebay reporting to the IRS, it is as if I didn’t sell anything.

Disclaimer: I have to admit, I have had three total auctions yanked. The first two I sold “promotional” software received as fodder at conferences. No scams, the man didn’t me selling their unsold goods. Something about end user agreement or something. Oh Well. I still am a Ebay citizen in good standing with a 12 rating. Woo Hoo.

Technorati Tags: 419, auctions, ebay, nigeria, paypal, fraud