Took off from Orlando and dropped into DC this afternoon at 2 pm. Cold. Yeah. Not real cold. I am sure if you checked the weather channel you might be muttering “Pussy!?” under your breath but remember that an Orlando winter hovers around 63 degrees for months. I wore shorts like a true Florida retard boy. It is Orlando winter cold.
I rambled through the metro for the mad trip across town to the Phoenix Park Hotel. Half way through, at the switch from the blue to the red line it bogs down. A cheerful announcer came on to describe the reason why we were all going to be spending a few minutes hours cursing mass transit. Here is the transcript:
random electrical noise that typically marks the start of an inaudible loudspeaker message
ANNOUNCER
Greetings mass transit assclowns of DC, things are going to be really slow due to a police incident at ____
Announcer assuredly use the quote fingers during “police incident” and I stopped paying attention to where because I was no trying to figure out if I could walk.
random electrical noise that typically marks the start of an inaudible loudspeaker message.
ANNOUNCER
Greetings trapped and pissed mass transit assclowns of DC, it really is a cop incident in [insert random station]. They had to put a cap in his ass and we need to clean up the mess. Please be patient while we put your trip home off indefinitely.
Crowds begin to murmur. Confused wannabe passengers stare down the empty hole of a tunnel as if shear will power will bring out the train.
random electrical noise that typically marks the start of an inaudible loudspeaker message
ANNOUNCER
Hello, please stop looking down the tunnels, it will not make it come any quicker. Do move to the other side. We seemed to have misplaced our mops. We are going to run both trains on one side in a fun game we like to call Mass Transit Chicken. Hurry up it is coming.
The masses move through packed escalators to the other side their mesmerized gaze down the tunnel.
random electrical noise that typically marks the start of an inaudible loudspeaker message
ANNOUNCER
Oops. It isn’t coming on that side. Sorry go back you foolish lemmings. It is coming quick.
I ended up at the hotel. It is cool. Irish. Irish bar at the bottom. I will imbibe tonight and listen to live Irish music. Pictures of my room below. Cool.
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