The girl is already a mess and tossing out gang signs. Homeslice is on lock down by four months and gonna need mercy before she sees parole. Been gassing the guards too. In the hole for thirty days. Kids, don’t have any respect anymore
Archive for the 'Baby It' Category
Christina has difficulty making decisions. Surprise. [But not really] So, now we have the new kid. It is growing and looks like it is going to be sticking around. We decided on Caitlyn for the name. But there is drama. First the back story.
See, we had made a deal about 2.0′s name. I have had some beef that I have not really gotten to participate in the naming of all new life forms entering the family. 0-2 on the dogs and there is some contention on the trickery that landed The Sam with Sam. Namely, Christina tricked me by using naming conventions I had developed and hitting me with sticks until I relented. Cheney would have accepted and said it was legal. The deal we struck, I name the boy and Christina names the girl. Easy.
Seven months later I have a name picked [had it 00:03:16;12 into the venture] and Christina does not. Surprise. Then It comes, and comes fast. Miss 13 Baby Books and the entire internets of baby names panics and makes me help. She throws out a few and I grab at Caitlyn. She hems and haws on middle before I force the option on Elizabeth. Technically she gets the finders fee but I decided. Win Win. But… the spelling.
Dear Lord, we didn’t have a book/dictionary/CIA fact book to tell us how to spell. I am frantically trying to text the announcement out with the freshly decided Caitlyn/Caitlyn/Katelyn/Katelin/Caitlynn Elizabeth realizing there are a few spellings. Punching away on the iPhone I mangle it. Something like C@1tLLno and it spell checks as Caitlyn. I assume, thanks to the miracle of technology, that is the spelling. I confirm and send to millions of [more like 13] people Caitlyn Elizabeth. Yes, you are right. Steve Jobs helped name my child [by proxy but close enough]. Drama.
That brings us to now. Google it and it is obvious Caitlin is the purest Irish version. But I contend we are good because when you check through Google [images] you find other Caitlyns, and overwhelming they are pretty people. [there was one Goth freaky one but it was an outlier]. And since pretty is all that matters with girls, bammo, we are good.
That leaves us with deciding the shortened version. Since I out sourced the long form to only the greatest technological and aesthetically pure mind currently in our midst, I am disqualified. And since Christina may take 13 years to decide and since there is the odd chance that, according to Google images, Caitlyn could become a Goth dressing, WOW playing freak loner chick that spells it C@1tT, we need a fast decision.
We are outsourcing it to the internets. Decide for us, Cait versus Cate.
The Sam has managed to get hold of Spider Man. Not that we are anti-superhero, we just haven’t added any to the collection of household media. Unfortunately Sam has filled in the gaps with some serious misinformation. We are going to have to have a re-education plan in place. I do prefer Batman and the eventual introduction of Catwoman as the perfect woman but we will work with what we have. Until that time, well, you’ll see.
Spider Man from tim welch on Vimeo.
It only gets official when the kids makes something. First year or so it is mom making up for the loserville status of the kid. Ok, might be much to expect a one year old to have a real say but that is the point. It is mom’s bag really. This year Sam performed. Sort of. I know he didn’t wield the scissors and the neat writing was not his. And the signature is in serious doubt as his response to spelling his name is still “Huh?”. But he glued dammit. And he was really digging me putting it on. Still laughs at it. Maybe the jokes on me but I am calling this one.
And mom kicked butt with a nifty cool laptop bag. It was needed and she rocked it.
Noodle Sam from tim welch on Vimeo.
Sam, who has a sore throat, got some nifty noodles for dinner. He had some creative methods. He also gives his review of the food at the end
As far as Sam is concerned, these could be random shapes, but he does not understand that this is our feeble attempt to force feed academic knowledge at all times of the day to turn him into a super-genius. This is required of all that would like to maintain their good parent status. In order to back off he will have to have grey matter oozing from one of his nostrils and be able to tell us to “relax” in 3 different languages (one of which must be a Latin or Greek, his choice). It is disheartening that despite these efforts he is more entertained by drinking the bath water and yanking his junk. We shall persevere. Dammit.
Sam Practices for Easter from tim welch on Vimeo.
Sam decided he needed to develop the skills ahead of time for the Easter Combine.
Unfortunately he was a bit random with the workout and even included a monkey hang.
He promises though, egg hunting greatness and highlights several moments from the tape to prove it.
Bookmarks for August 11th
These are my links for August 11th