June 21, 2008 
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June 20, 2008 Posted in daily links 1 Comment »
June 19, 2008 Building a better place to die
Naples used to be the place where you came to die. Made into a retirement hell heaven for the que-tip crowd, it became God’s Waiting room. It had always been a quieter version of the Florida vacation beach scene (i.e. what Daytona would have been with out the frat boys and drunken sluts), it had maintained a close to normal look and feel. It had schools, kids, places to shop that still seemed part of the real world. The abnormally slow driving speeds and amazing amount of Urology joints [apparently it is hard to pee when you get old] tended to bely its “age”
But then came The Villages. Buying up a bazillion acres of pastures, they built ticky tacky homes and a wondrous playground for the retiree crowd on top of the cow turds. I had heard rumors. STD explosion, golf cart chaos [emergency room filled with golf cart casualties] and a Pleasantville type atmosphere that becomes a drunk orgy at night. They crafted a Main Street for the Beaver and his posse while disguising the mass of Urology joints in store front facades. Golf Courses are the lifeblood of your average, white drain on social security retired person. There is at least count 342 courses. Enough golf for 2.8 million people [the projected population for the end of 2009]. The problem with that much action for old folk is that they just simply bury them where they fall so as to keep the game going.
I had to see this hot mess myself.
Despite the warnings
Can’t say we weren’t warned, and apparently @chrisscott was right. The STD’s have been blooming like wild fires. Little blue pills are passing around like meth at a redneck convention. I was expecting to see old men with tents in their plaid golfing shorts and frazzle haired women walking like they had rode a horse from Tallahassee. But apparently it is catching up to them,
Things were a bit slower. But it was as it were a Twilight zone. What did catch me off guard was the lack of minorities. Not a single off-color individual. Either the have rules against that or minorities are a bit more dignified than to move to some old persons hedonism. But I have to say, form what I saw I am going to try and sneak back in and hit the bars for a bit of alcohol induced senior moments. Who knows, might snag me a GILF.
Obviously the drinking problem is openly embraced and capitalized on. I would find it interesting see Grandma with a skull flask, but what ever floats her boat.
They replaced the Employment section a permanent Health and Medical section (primarily Urology).
I missed the picture of the $18,000 Escalade cart. They were off the hook. Every one announced who the occupants were despite not having an enclosure or tinted windows that would normally make it hard to see who’s in the damn thing.. Maybe it is for the easy identification of the offender as it will be the last thing you see as you are run over by a drunk Cart Driver.
Village fashion is hot. I boned Christina old man style later that night as she pranced around dressed only in her leather fanny pack. HOT!
Urban Flats lost a bit of the cool factor.
More randomness:
Posted in O-Town 2 Comments »
June 19, 2008 Posted in daily links No Comments »
June 18, 2008 [via Scott Maxwell and the Orlando Slantinel]
Tom Feeney tops himself in sending out campaign materials on the government dime this year at $188,744. And considering we are only five months into the year he is looking to top almost $377,000. [I only counted 10 months as the election in November will probably mean that he doesn't really need to notify his constituents about "important issues" such as campaign slogans"]. Last year he cut it short at $164,000.
But he also has the nerve to claim that he is saving us from pork. I also love the irony that it is an anti-earmark earmark. Just pony up and actual propose a real bill, campaign on that. Not more earmarks. Besides, what has been his track record in working/voting/speaking against the GOP earmarks for the years prior to being in a tough campaign. It seems they have been the big spenders that has gotten us into the mess.
Scott Maxwell [OG article here] makes the point that this should a an interesting campaign. Especially if Tommy-Boy keeps mailing out the material to his opponent [Suzanne Kosmas]
Posted in random 4 Comments »
June 17, 2008 Posted in daily links No Comments »
June 16, 2008 After a long weekend and deep thought I have decided I have been wrong and am now voting Republican regardless. I think this video, while not mine, best conveys my feelings:
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June 16, 2008 Posted in daily links No Comments »
June 15, 2008 Posted in daily links No Comments »
June 14, 2008 Posted in daily links No Comments »
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